Nuts!

This was written at the request of friend of mine...he wanted a story about a dog being neutered...from the dogs perspective...here you go Tom, enjoy.

Nuts! - By Mark Andersen

It was the first really nice day of spring when my best friend called me and asked if I wanted to go for a ride. I just about jumped through my skin when he asked. It had been a long winter and I had cabin fever really bad and I could not wait to go out for a ride. I hopped into his car and off we went. The smells of spring were so strong in the air that it was all I could do not to hang my head out of the window and suck them all in.

We drove all over the countryside; there were Robins singing and crocuses blooming everywhere. The grass was just beginning to turn green, the buds on the trees looked like they were ready to burst open and the last of snow piles were melting. It was a sure sign of spring when we saw that the A&W drive-in was open, we pulled in and the teen-aged carhop took our order. There is just something about eating a bacon cheeseburger outside that just makes it taste better.

After lunch we headed back to town, my friend mentioned he had to stop somewhere first. I didn’t mind, it meant a little bit longer outside on this beautiful day. My friend pulled into the parking lot of a non-descript building, I could hear a lot of yelling in the building but could not make out what was being said. I was worried about my friend going into this place. The he said, “C’mon, let’s go, we need to see someone here.”

I was puzzled; I normally never got out of the car and went into a place with my friend. But, if he wanted me to go in who was I to argue with him. He is my best friend and he would never steer me wrong. I leapt out of the car and looked back at him and said, “Well , what are you waiting for.”

Once inside the yelling grew louder; however, I could still not distinguish what they were saying. My friend said he was here for our appointment. Just as I was going to ask him what he meant by “Our appointment” the young lady behind the counter said,

“Right this way sir.”

She directed us to a small room with an exam table in it. “Why is he taking me to a doctor’s office?” I thought to myself. I figured he would tell me soon. Maybe he just needed moral support for a procedure and he was embarrassed to tell me about it. I was just going to ask him when a young man in a white lab coat entered the room. He looked at me and asked my friend if “I was the one.” The one what? What did he mean by that? I tried to ask what was going on, but they just ignored me. My friend said,

“Yes, he is the one. How much longer before you start the procedure?”

“Procedure!” I screamed, “What procedure!?”

My friend looked at me and said, “Quiet, you know better.”

I started looking around the room, looking for a way out. There wasn’t one. There was only one door and no windows. My friend was also holding me so I could not move. I could not even wriggle free of his grasp. What could he be doing to me, and why. Then the door opened, it was my chance for escape. I tried with all my might and I exploded out of my friends grasp. Only to be stopped by the young man in the white lab coat.

The young man asked my friend to help him put me up on the table. Once I was on the table he pulled out a syringe with some kind of fluid in it. He asked my friend to hold me down. I was panicking I did not know what was happening, there was nothing I could do. The young man in the lab coat stuck me with the needle, I howled in pain. I started to get sleepy. I struggled to keep my eyes open, it was no use. I could not stay awake.

I was really groggy and could barely open my eyes.

“How long had I been out.” I thought to myself.

I tried to open my eyes. Everything was fuzzy and out of focus. My mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. I felt awful. After about fifteen minutes the room started coming into focus. I could finally understand the yelling, they were warning me to run away. It was too late now. I could not run. I looked up and my friend was there, patting me on the head. I heard the young man in the lab coat say,

“This should calm him down, you will see a difference in his behavior and he will be less prone to wander off.”

My friend looked at me and said, “Its OK buddy, it was for your own good.”

I mustered up what strength I had and wagged my tail twice, and then licked my friends hand. All the while wondering what was done to me.

Later in the day when I woke up I realized what had been done, he had them cut my nuts off. How could he have done this to me? I will get him back though. He has to sleep sometime...and besides, he can't even lick his own nuts...so he doesn't really even need them.